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Hera Spot

The Art of Peaceful Separation
Hera Spot, Relationships

The Art of Peaceful Separation

I want to be forever young, which I know is impossible but, I wouldn’t mind being a black that don’t crack well into my 60s. I am looking forward to that. I like how as the years fly by and I mature into ripe grapefruit (I believe I am still too young to use ‘aging like fine wine 🤣), I experience an increase in understanding on matters love and life. One of the things I have learnt, and continue to learn, is the art of peacefully walking away from situations that no longer serve me. No drama. You realize something is not working, and you have tried your best, and this thing does not even hold its destiny in your hands, you walk away. Like you were never even there. Especially with romantic relationships. The broken beyond repair ones. The ones being held by feather strings. Those o...
To Enter Marriage… Or Sit It Out?
Hera Spot, Relationships

To Enter Marriage… Or Sit It Out?

I was randomly going through my Google News App, as I do often, trying to see how far the world has reached in burning itself down, and what part I play. And the way Google News App is set up is you are able to access everything, from ‘serious’ news to latest gossip to opinion articles published in the dailies. Today I came across this opinion article on marriage, published in The Standard by Dayan Masinde. I understand Dayan is a writer who writes/speaks a lot on relationships (from a quick Google search). I am yet to check out more of his work, and would like to make clear that this conversation is not about him or his work but the contents of the particular article I came across.   The article is titled ’25 Reasons Why Marriage is Good’. Honestly, is there a catchier title ...
You Cannot ‘Cheat’ Your Way into Ethical Non-Monogamy
Hera Spot, Relationships

You Cannot ‘Cheat’ Your Way into Ethical Non-Monogamy

I wrote an article here on why we should consider embracing ethical non- monogamy as a long-term solution to the buckets of tears cried in these social media streets daily. A significant number of people, especially men, misconstrued the article to mean cheating is a natural human condition, with ludicrous comments such as ‘no man is monogamous’, and ‘white people brought monogamy upon us’.  We can have the conversation on religion and its impact on our romantic relationships, what we will not discuss is your belief that a particular gender is ‘naturally’ predisposed to being non-monogamous, and therefore in a monogamous setting, cheating from their end is a given. Please, Sir, you are not cheating on your lover because you are non-monogamous, but because you are a d...
Adults Need Sex Education
Hera Spot, Sex

Adults Need Sex Education

It is funny how when you are young (below legal age), you imagine adults know things about sex. Until you become an adult and start experiencing that side of life, you realize a lot of people don’t know a lot of things. In conversations around sex education, the target audience is always young people. Which is fair because truly, they don’t know. Especially in a world full of predators and sex offenders, the earlier sex education is delivered, the better. Many of us have stories of things that were done to us when we were young; things that we only realized were wrong and criminal when we obtained knowledge much later. Things that we could have reported and hopefully, get protection. I say hopefully because this world is fucked up man, You’d be surprised how many parents would opt ...
The Elephant in the Room That We Are Ignoring in the Edgar Obare ‘Exposes’
Hera Spot, Relationships

The Elephant in the Room That We Are Ignoring in the Edgar Obare ‘Exposes’

A story is told of a man who kept a dog, took care of it as if it were his child. The man loved the dog, a love so strong that he could not let the dog out of his sight. A love so selfish that when he took it out for walks, the dog would be punished for responding to another’s bark, or trying to sniff the neighbour’s bitch; actions that held the possibility of the beast discovering there’s more to the world than his captor. In the man’s mind, the relationship he had built with the animal guaranteed unyielding loyalty and longevity. But a canine is born to roam and bark and sniff the neighbourhood bitches. A caged dog is an angry dog, a dangerous beast. Unless you intend to breed it into a lethal weapon against your foes, we all know how it ends: In premium tears. Let’s talk about human...