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To Enter Marriage… Or Sit It Out?

I was randomly going through my Google News App, as I do often, trying to see how far the world has reached in burning itself down, and what part I play. And the way Google News App is set up is you are able to access everything, from ‘serious’ news to latest gossip to opinion articles published in the dailies. Today I came across this opinion article on marriage, published in The Standard by Dayan Masinde. I understand Dayan is a writer who writes/speaks a lot on relationships (from a quick Google search). I am yet to check out more of his work, and would like to make clear that this conversation is not about him or his work but the contents of the particular article I came across.  

The article is titled ’25 Reasons Why Marriage is Good’. Honestly, is there a catchier title to get people like me who have little faith in marriage to read? 😂 I opened it very fast, wondering how one could come up with more than ONE reason why anyone should get married. Like surely, you would give me a million dollars and I still wouldn’t be able to give you 2 reasons. Thanks to that article, I can regurgitate the points brought forward and bag that money🤣.

I will sample here the Top 5 reasons given, and why they left me more convinced to find joy in the lord because what is marriage? 😂

  1. You have someone to come home to and share company with

This is among top reasons why I fear this institution. I cannot imagine having to come home to someone every day. Have to have talk to them, share a dinner table, sleep next to them daily. Once in a while is fine, when I have missed you a little. Kila siku? Ah bana. I want to come home to choice silence and a nice glass of wine by the fireplace. I say choice silence to mean if I wanted to have someone I would, but I prefer not to on some days, Not the unchosen silence that you have to deal with😂.

  • You get to have someone with whom you can have as much sexual pleasure as you both want

Oh really. So on average we can conclude that married couples have more sex than the unmarried? I really wonder because statistics do not reflect that. And even away from statistics, conversations with married people have shown over and over than sex significantly reduces once they tie the knot. But what do I know… Ha!

  • You have someone to look after and who looks after you

Is it a marriage or a day-care? What exactly do we even mean you ‘have someone to look after’ as a reason to get married? This reason had me cackling in disbelief. So we are entering a forever union so we get ‘people to look after’? Chei! How we glorify labour!

  • You get to walk with someone who is your best friend long term, at a time when even friendships don’t last.

The writer must have meant, ‘at a time when especially marriages don’t last’.

  • You get to build a future with someone who knows you as an adult. Our parents know who were as children, our spouse knows who we truly are as adults.

And your spouse also knows you ain’t shit. Also, this conversation about being known as adults, do we not also get this in friendships? Do our close friends not know and understand as ‘as adults’? Don’t our co-workers, basically anyone who interacts with us in our adulthood? Should you be a getting into marriage to be ‘known as an adult’? Really?

………

Anyway, if you are pro-marriage, go ahead and do what’s best for you. I am a big believer in people doing what they feel works best for them, so I will only communicate my thoughts but not impose them on anyone.

I have questions about marriage, and as you guessed, WHY we get married is basically the premise. The reasons given in that article, especially as top 5 reasons, convince me than ever that this institution is a total waste of anybody’ time.

Tell me what you think, especially if you are of a contrary opinion.

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