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Ah. This Life of No Absolutes!

One of my high school classmates recently created a WhatsApp group and virtually brought us all together. This must have been the 100th attempt made by different parties since we left high school about 10 years ago. As years fly by, the initial excitement people had over WhatsApp, and other social media is slowly fading away. Especially amongst us millennials. I mean, we are the pioneers of social media, it only makes sense that at some point we will be fed up and want out. In 2020, it is almost criminal adding someone to a WhatsApp group without their permission. And I love that WhatsApp heard our cries and put in measures to ensure only a particular cadre of people can perform this atrocious act.  

Anyway, this post is not about WhatsApp, but about a conversation we were having with the girls in the group. One of us had asked us what is the biggest lesson we’ve learnt in life. There were great responses, all very good lessons, and as I thought about it, I realized for me it is this; this life, haina script. Alafu hii maisha, haina absolutes. You do your best and leave the rest to the universe. Allow me explain.  

We are raised in a system that gives us a formula to life. Birth, school, work, marry, retire, die. Sounds simple, right? Until you begin living THE life, with all your childhood fantasies stripped from you, you start to see things clearly. Not particularly that life is hard or bad, but that the possibilities are endless. Things could go either way. There is no script. Sometimes you will do A to get B, and not get it. Or do A for B, and get A, B, C, D. Or not do anything at all, and still get B!   

This is not a post to discourage you, in fact, I aim for the opposite. To encourage you to keep on. To keep believing, and to keep trying. The open your mind to the endless possibilities. In this experiment called life, anything can happen. You could fly on wings, or land flat foot. But you know what, all in all, we keep on keeping on. We move regardless, a phrase KOT have taught me.  

I have had good luck in a lot of ventures. In many more, I have suffered great disappointment. I have dreamt and achieved, and yet again, some dreams have turned into smoke right in front of my eyes. I have said yes to opportunities that have enabled me sit at tables I never would have imagined, speak to and shake hands with people I’d only seen on television. In the same breath, I have had opportunities that hurt me deeply. Opportunities that have robbed me of joy and took away everything I thought I had. Opportunities that left me on my knees begging crying out to God to please hold my hand.  

Looking at my life wholesomely, what I can say confidently, for sure, is change is the only constant in this life. And the only way is forward, always. Strive to move forward. To forgive and let go. To try again. To lick your wounds and put some salt😂 and just songa mbele. Of importance is life I tell you. If you are still alive, and granted health, you can try again. You never know, this time round, you will fly with the birds.  

At the end of life, I believe what should matter is that we tried our best. With what we knew then, with the knowledge and wisdom we had, we made the choice that we saw would work best for us. And I say ‘in that moment’ because we have the tendency of looking back and regretting choices we made. Hey, that is what you knew then. Forgive yourself. Now that you know better, do better.   

In this life of no absolutes, may our paths be blessed. May we live to see our dreams come true. May we live to fulfil our potential. May we experience love, and family, good health, and career success. May these things not be stories of other people, but ours as well.

In this life of no absolutes, may the odds always favour us.

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