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Taking Stock: March 2021

Hey! I feel like I should say happy new month but heh. What is this speed that 2021 is flying with? Wasn’t it just January the other day? No, like seriously. Have you guys NOTICED? Isn’t it crazy?! It is like we’re on some snow piercer and have to move at a certain speed to stay alive.

Anyway, you’re well? I’ve been reading a couple of blogs (yes I still read those) and saw this dope list Abby had created for Taking Stock in February. I loved that it wasn’t the usual what are you drinking and did you just fart questions, so here I am trying my hand at it 😁.

…..

What are you pursuing?

Stability. Especially in finances. I don’t think anything else causes me so much turbulence and worry as trying to balance this out. Currently pursuing different sources of income, which is quite exhausting to be honest, but it is what it is and we gotta do what we gotta do.

Also stability mentally, emotionally.  A complete package is not too much to ask now, is it?

What do you remember most about February?

Diani! I cannot believe I actually had to pause to remember I went for my first ever vacation in February! Surely Lovine this should be top of mind? 🤣 This was a top top experience. I must do it again!

What did you do well in February, whether in your career or personal life?

I did not quit. HAHA. Look, with all the turmoil going on in my life and mind, that I showed up again and again, is a big deal. I have known myself to not withstand the storm, to say fuck it and walk away. But that I haven’t (and someone pointed out that they are shook I am this person now, because who is this new Lovine 🤣) is something I am grateful for. We look at the bigger picture this year, aye?

What difficulty do you see in March?

Trying to not overthink. Toning down my worries. Showing up, and doing the thing, every single day.

What joy do you see in March?

Finding my signature scent! I have really been enjoying trying out scents to see what really tickles my fantasy. I absolutely love scents and cannot wait to know what works for me! So far I know I love fragrances with notes of vanilla, but- there must be more aye? We find out!  

What do you need to decentre?

Need for likability, especially in professional spaces. Feeling like speaking my mind is too much and will make me less likable, and therefore probably sabotage my work. Being a yes woman. Having a smile on my face when I don’t mean it, don’t feel it. Like why can’t I just tell Owino from finance to fuck off without feeling bad about it?

Guys, I have been called out before at a workplace for not being ‘friendly’ enough to colleagues. Can you imagine! I hate that people have to perform likability, when all you want is to do your work and go home. Or go to bed, now that the home is the office.

What do you need from yourself to get through the next month?

Money. The end.

What do you need relief from?

Responsibility. Look, I know I am a first born daughter, deputy parent or whatever the hell we label people to excuse normalized bad behaviour and abuse towards them, but leave me be.

The last time you felt happy was

I think today, when I showered and wore this really delicious fragrance with strong vanilla notes that I am really enjoying. Also last week, when I ate a really decadent slice of chocolate cake. I want it all over again NOW.

How you will find that feeling again is

The cake? I will buy it again as soon as I get some money! 🤣

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